Agency News

11/3/15

Maybe you were a grieving child. Maybe you have a grieving child. You likely know a grieving child or teenager, as one out of nine children will lose a parent to death by age 20, according to the National Alliance of Grieving Children (NAGC). 

Grief expert Dr. Alan D. Wolfelt says, “Studies show that children suffer more from the loss of parental support during this time than from the death itself.” Please join Home Nursing Agency’s Healing Patch in supporting grieving children. 

“Over the past nine years, the Healing Patch has provided grief services to hundreds of local families following the death of a loved one,” shares Allison Stockley, Healing Patch manager. “We accompany children and families during the difficult journey of piecing their lives back together…without their loved one.”

The Thursday before Thanksgiving is set aside each year as Children’s Grief Awareness Day for an annual opportunity to recognize the unique needs of grieving children. You can show support simply by wearing blue on Nov. 19. 

This year, countless volunteers created hundreds of handmade blue butterfly pins, as a blue butterfly is the symbol of hope for grieving children. Stop by any Home Nursing Agency office to make a donation (suggested donation of $1 each) and choose a pin to wear for Children’s Grief Awareness Day. 

“We have been overwhelmed by the community’s support by making butterflies for us,” explains Melody Ray, Healing Patch volunteer coordinator/grief specialist/social worker who coordinated the Home Nursing Agency “Butterfly Project”. “Volunteers have spent countless hours all creating unique blue butterflies – some crocheted, some sewn, some iron on, some glued – all unique and symbolizing each child’s grief experience is unique and deserves support and validation.” 

Please send any photos of yourself, family members, co-workers or others wearing blue or butterfly pins on Nov. 19 to Melody Ray at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.. Submitted photos will be shared on the Home Nursing Agency Facebook page. 

Here are some more direct ways to help a grieving children in your life:

• Be honest with the child. Discuss in a simple, direct and age-appropriate manner.
• Listen. Let the child share his story about what happened. Let him ask questions and do your best to answer. Don’t be afraid to say, “I don’t know.”
• Acknowledge the child’s grief. A child’s grief looks very different than an adult’s. It is normal for children to move in and out of grief reactions, at times being very upset or getting angry easily and at other times playing as if nothing has happened.
• Share. Tell the child stories about your own life. Times you were afraid, sad or angry. Tell them how you dealt with these situations and what you learned. Children love to hear stories about the adults in their lives and when those adults were children. Sharing stories helps a child normalize what he or she is experiencing.
• Be creative. Give the child a creative outlet to express feelings. This can be done through drawing, writing, doing crafts, listening to music, or playing games.
• Maintain clear expectations. Keep rules and boundaries consistent. Children gain security when they know what is expected from them. Children will often use their pain as an excuse for inappropriate behavior. While you should always acknowledge the grief your child is experiencing, you should also teach them to be accountable for their choices, no matter how they feel.
• Create rituals and new family traditions. Rituals can give your family tangible ways to acknowledge your grief and honor the memory of those who have died. Lighting candles, recognizing special occasions, sharing stories about those who have died or volunteering with a local charity as a family are some of the ways you can incorporate new traditions or rituals.

To learn more about local grief resources or refer a child/family for services, please contact us at 1.800.445.6262. Click here to see some helpful links to resources for supporting grieving children.

About the Healing Patch

Home Nursing Agency started the Healing Patch: A Program for Loss and Hope for Grieving Children and Their Families in 2006 as a free peer support program for children and their families who have suffered the loss of a loved one, such as a parent, sibling, grandparent, or close family member. The Healing Patch offers a safe environment where grieving children and their families can discover they are not alone in their grief by interacting with others who have encountered similar losses. By sharing memories and experiences, families discover that what they are going through is normal and that hope and healing are possible. The Healing Patch is a free service to the community and relies on individual and community donations, grants and fundraising events for support. You can support the Healing Patch by making a donation or becoming a volunteer!